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At some point, someone made me feel shitty for wanting to dress fancy. I’m not sure when it was (though I’m guessing it was likely around age 13), and I don’t know who did it (solid guess would be a 13 year old boy), but I have a full on fear of wearing fancy clothes. I used to think that the fear was because I just didn’t want anyone to ask me why i was dressed up. I thought I just wanted to be left alone, unbothered by inquiring minds. What I realized was that the reason I avoided dressing up was a bit more serious than not wanting to make small talk with strangers.
I didn’t want anyone to notice me.
Now, you’d think that someone like myself who is drowning in pictures of her outfits would practically be screaming “NOTICE ME!!!” at passerby’s, but the truth is… i like to blend in. I don’t want to draw any extra attention to myself. I’m pretty scared of putting myself out there, trying really hard to pull together an outfit and style myself, and then facing the possibility that someone may look at me longer than 3 seconds. While I talk about body diversity, and exclaim that “we are not invisible!” I often times hide behind clothes that don’t reflect who I am or how I feel so that I can feel exactly that: invisible.
I’m constantly reminded that self-love is a journey and even when I think I’ve got it all figured out, I peel back another layer that will expose some hang-up that I didn’t know I had. I like it like that. That means the growth never stops, and that’s pretty cool. So I thought maybe this dress would help me a bit. I might look dressed up, but me and all these butterflies know that I blend in just perfectly with mother nature. Baby steps.
Dress – Eshakti (it is sold out at Eshakti, but is still available in their amazon store here)
Bag – Ikea
Shoes – Amazon
Belt – similar
Girlycameron
Thursday 26th of May 2016
Hello Beautiful, I am youtube sub. Found this recently and can't stop reading it, and hoping for new posts. I love this dress so much, and you look so cute in it. Hugs and kisses form the UK. X
Karley
Friday 11th of March 2016
That was meant to say - thank you for just being you xx
Karley
Friday 11th of March 2016
You are just beautiful. Inside and out. I have been trolling through your blog for the past 2 hours smiling more while reading each entry. Thank you for just being.
Ink
Tuesday 17th of November 2015
Hey there! I just happened to find your blog on a random search for plus sized clothing (you know what I'm talking about), and I have to say that you are UNDENIABLY gorgeous, and you carry yourself so well! I'm around the same size as you, and it gives me courage to go out and find some cute clothing, no matter my size and what people say to me. You look so cute in the clothes you pick out. :)
fatgirlflow
Tuesday 17th of November 2015
Thank you so much!!!! I'm so glad you found the site, I'm happy to have you here <3
Nikki
Thursday 5th of November 2015
hi Corissa! found you on Instagram & thought I'd check out your blog. love love love everything about it! your writing is witty, insteressting and well written. your photos are always amazing and you are just absolutely stunning, gorgeous, cute, beautiful ... Lol you get what I',m trying to say I guess :)) I just really adore your style and this dress OMG I just would love to wear it... I just never had the confidence, but after reading through your block, your Insta...... I think I might give it a try ( can I ask what size you re wearing as we are similar build?) Thanks for your inspiration, for being you, don't ever change! love from Australia
fatgirlflow
Thursday 5th of November 2015
Thank you for all the love Nikki! I'm wearing a size 26 in this dress!!!! <3