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HELLO, AM I ADELE YET?!?! I need you to know something very important about this outfit. I did not wear it to an event. I didn’t even go out to a nice dinner with my partner in it. I wore it to go get fast food lunch with my niece. That’s right, I ate fried food in this ensemble. I have the ranch stain on my dress to prove it. And I’m telling you this because I feel like you probably have been wondering “where the hell am I going to wear a giant faux fur jacket?” and the answer is EVERYWHERE!!!
I have learned a couple things from wearing such a glamorous garment. First and foremost, I am fabulous. Day or night. Second, I get to stand out. Even if I’m just going to the gas station, I get to feel amazing. I’ve been doing this thing for a lot of years, maybe as many years as I can remember, where I’ve just blended in. I think for awhile I believed I was doing it because that’s how I preferred it. I thought it was nice to not be noticed. When I really considered my feelings about how I like to dress, and what my style is, I realized that I may have been playing down my preferences out of obligation. I felt some implicit need to not make myself stand out, and it wasn’t out of fear or lack of confidence, but a underlying certainty that I needed to shrink.
Of course, people tell me to shrink all the time. I can’t turn on the radio without hearing about a weight loss scheme. I see constant fat shaming every time I log onto social media, and the comments section of my YouTube channel has reminded me more than once that my body is “unacceptable”. But it’s more than that. It’s the silent cues that can’t be ignored. It’s the aisles between tables in restaurants that I can’t fit through. It’s the seatbelts that don’t reach around me. It’s the lack of clothes made in my size, and the dressing rooms that I can barely do a 360 degree turn in. All of these things contribute to an environment that i am not welcome to exist in. Society has taught me that I am to accommodate, that I am to have an apology on my tongue at any given moment, ready to say “I’m sorry” for not shrinking.
I’m not really into letting people tell me what to do, even if they’re just doing it by pushing furniture too close together. So I’m going to keep wearing my wild jackets in fast food restaurants. I’m going to think about what I like instead of what I feel obligated to wear. I’m done shrinking. Fill my closets with a million more faux fur coats, I’m ready to stand out!
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