I am sure you guys have noticed my magnificent mane, right?! RIGHT?!?!? Well, even if you have not noticed my luxurious mop, it’s a pretty big deal. At least, it is to me. And it turns out I hide behind it a lot. No matter how fat or thin or acne ridden my face is, I can always count on my hair to show and up get some compliments.
When I am meeting someone for the first time and haven’t done my hair I feel an overwhelming sense that they will think I’m “ugly” or unkempt. There have been several times that I have passed on meeting my partner’s friends (and even family) because my hair was not done. Because my hair wasn’t done. Now, I am all for feeling your best and making sure you are comfortable when you are meeting someone new. What I hadn’t realized was that maybe I was not just trying to “put my best foot forward”, I was actually scared to not be viewed as pretty.
And what do you do when you realize that the world’s bullshit beauty standards are getting you down? You challenge them, of course! So I asked myself why the hell I thought my hair was what made me beautiful. Why didn’t I like wearing my hair up? What is it about having long hair that I actually enjoy?
I won’t go through the incredible process of sorting through all my feelings about these questions, I’ll just tell you what I decided to do about it. I decided that I want to practice wearing my hair up in different ways that show off my super cute face. I decided that I want to practice doing my makeup in ways that would highlight my eyes instead of drawing all the attention to my hair. I am going to take outfit of the day pictures with my hair up.
I decided that I’m not going to hide behind my hair.
We will see how it goes. I know it might not be easy for me, and that’s ok. I just don’t want to continue saying “no” to things that I enjoy just because my hair isn’t perfect. Summer is tough because on top of not being able to wear my hair down there is another dreaded beauty issue that I face… sweat. I’m going to prepare as best I can. I’m going to open myself up to being ok with wearing my hair up. I’m going to try really hard to be sweaty and not panic. I’m just gonna try.
I’m just going to try.