At this point, it should come as no surprise to any of you that your girl (that’s me) has some hang ups. Not the kind that make you feel a little silly about wearing black shoes with a brown belt, no those are for amateurs. I’ve got the full on pro style hang-ups, the kind that make you quit your day job and start a blog where you’re forced to expose every tiny bit of vulnerability you’ve ever had. The kind of hang-ups that force you to adjust your entire life just to work through them. The really fun kind!
Honestly, I have a feeling that’s where most people are. I just got lucky and had the opportunity to talk about it openly to a bunch of people who decided they don’t mind listening (thanks ya’ll). While finding my way through this little journey I’ve been inspired and guided by a lot of people. There are of course people in my daily life who have lovingly supported and encouraged me, and then there are people who I consider my internet role models who have shown me what opening yourself up to hundreds of thousands of strangers looks like. One of those courageous role models is Jes Baker, and about a week ago she published a book that is the perfect summation of every intense thought process I’ve ever had about being a fat girl. It turns out there is something incredibly freeing about seeing all your emotional hang-ups you’ve had to work through on your own, being challenged and validated in print!
Ahhhh, that little quote right there… validating everything I’m doing with my life! It was such an awesome reminder for me, as the seasons change and I’m once again stepping outside my comfort zone. It’s not easy to re-learn what you like after years of being told that certain things are off limits to you and your body, and I’m going to take a little bit more time to congratulate myself on how far I’ve come. I can wear whatever I want. I can show off my big fat legs. I can stand out. I can tell the “rules” to go fuck themselves. And some times, I can be a little scared and that’s ok too. Because I can.