Define Flattering

Define Flattering // Fatgirlflow.com

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Define Flattering // Fatgirlflow.com

Define Flattering // Fatgirlflow.com

I don’t want to hear it. I know that this dress looks like a sack. I realize that this dress is oversized. This may shock some, but I bought it that way and I really really like it. Not only do I like it, I think I look hot as hell in it.

Earlier this year Alysse from Ready To Stare released a dress that got a lot of backlash for not being “flattering” enough. She did an amazing job of addressing it, since that incident I have noticed time and time again, that people really put a lot of pressure on one another to wear “flattering” clothes. Of course, the problem with that in the plus size community is that unlike thin bodies, our bodies are inherently perceived as unflattering. So, while a thin person may be able to try new trends and experiment with their style, we’re stuck being told that we can’t try these things because they’re just not made for fat people. They make fat people look “sloppy” or “unkempt”.

Now there are a lot of things about my life that are sloppy. In fact, while I write this there are three laundry baskets sitting next to me and a coffee table with last night’s half eaten mexican food on it, sitting in front of me. Your girl knows sloppy. We’re acquainted. We may actually be related. But trust me when I say, if you see me walking down the street and you think I look sloppy… that is your problem not mine.

Most days I don’t wear super nice clothes. I wear sweat pants and a t-shirt or jeans. I wear my hair in a messy bun. I look like literally every other 30 year old that works from their home. Nothing sets me apart. Except see… I’m pretty fat. So when someone sees me they don’t immediately think “oh look it’s a casual mom-aged person just hanging out and relaxing for the day”. They think “ugh, she’s so lazy she doesn’t even get dressed”. Maybe you think I’m being too sensitive. Maybe you think “well sweat pants DO look sloppy”. Ok, I’m going to need you to think about the last time you say a thin girl in sweat pants and a t-shirt and thought “ew sloppy” instead of “omg effortless!”. Ya’ll entire brands are built around thin women who want to wear yoga pants all the time and get praised for it. I’m not imagining this.

So when I think about my style, when I think about the trends I want to try, I’ve started asking myself “define flattering”. It turns out, flattering is very different than what I’ve been taught. It has nothing to do with looking put together, or hugging your curves in all the right places. Flattering doesn’t even have to do with how you feel in your clothes. Flattering is something that people made up in order to further judge and demean bodies that they don’t like. It’s an entire concept based around making people adhere to arbitrary and meaningless “rules”. It’s boring, and I refuse to spend any more of my time validating it.

SoΒ the next time you find yourself wondering if something is flattering, I challenge you to ask yourself “define flattering?”.

Dress – c/o Full Beauty
Hat – c/o Full Beauty
Shoes – Dansko

Fat Girl Flow

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  • Libby
    April 13, 2016 at 7:12 am

    ALL I ever want to wear these days are t-shirt dresses and shift dresses. The baggier the better! I get to have that flowy, beautiful dress, too!
    Everyone else’s opinion of me has NOTHING to do with me. Also I want this dress so bad.

  • krystal
    April 13, 2016 at 7:47 am

    Yes!
    Flattering is also universally used as shaming commentary. “That is such a flattering top!” Like flattering has to be the goal if skinny isn’t – it’s still about minimizing your body and trying to make it fit an ideal.
    Just wear the clothes you love!!

  • nikki sumner
    April 13, 2016 at 8:32 am

    Yes to oversized clothes I love this outfit so much and getting oversized items in plus sizes is not always easy. I no longer care for flattering clothes if I like something I wear it. xx

  • Deborah
    April 13, 2016 at 8:45 am

    Good morning Karissa, I just wanted to take this time to tell you how much I love your YouTube. I must tell you that I am 63 years old with magenta hair I was exactly like you when I was younger. Your humor is great there’s only one thing I might suggest please tell the price of the item to show. I wish you all the best your oldest fan LOL I would love to hear from you

    • fatgirlflow
      April 13, 2016 at 9:45 am

      Hi Deborah!!!! I LOVE that you watch my Youtube and identify with me. I hope I have magenta hair when I’m 63 πŸ˜€ I have told myself to mention prices more often in my videos and always forget, I will definitely work on it! Thanks for all the love <3 <3 <3

  • Sarah Anne
    April 13, 2016 at 10:28 am

    You look amazing, Corissa! Anything you wear looks incredible on you!

    • fatgirlflow
      April 14, 2016 at 8:17 pm

      I love you doll <3

  • Susan
    April 13, 2016 at 10:55 am

    Amen! You are so good with words.

  • Sarah
    April 14, 2016 at 10:57 am

    I used to spend so much time trying to find “flattering” clothing. As a fat person, that usually meant tight clothing so I could “show off” my waist or stuff that was carefully designed to hide my belly and back rolls.

    Then one day I was just like, fuck it, Fuck flattering. None of my “flattering” clothes were even very comfortable. I want to wear a top that doesn’t make me feel like I have to constantly suck in my stomach. I want to wear clothing that doesn’t dig into me if I bend over. You know what? I AM fat. I’m not going to put on some magic dress and suddenly no one will realize I’m fat. I’m not a magical fat person without fat rolls or dimples. So now I wear comfortable clothing that I love and that makes me happy, and flattering can go fuck itself.

    • Ellen Dayan
      July 1, 2016 at 12:55 pm

      Love your spirit and sense of humor. You made me laugh. Thanks!

  • Noelle
    April 15, 2016 at 5:11 pm

    It might not be what everyone tells you is “flattering” but, you look sexy as hell! That peek-a-boo shoulder and the way it drapes down your body? Yum! Fixation on creating the illusion of a slimmer figure has nothing on this gorgeousness.

    http://www.theclassyjunk.blogspot.com

  • Kim
    April 16, 2016 at 9:57 pm

    I loved this I Love your confidence and you have given me something to think about wow happy I found this blog

    • fatgirlflow
      April 16, 2016 at 10:03 pm

      I’m happy you’re here!!!! xoxo

  • Ellen Dayan
    July 1, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    Very comfortable and fun-looking! I love it! Sexy can be relaxed, too. πŸ™‚

  • Victoria Campbell
    August 16, 2016 at 12:40 pm

    I just found your website and it’s so positive! I love that you don’t care what others think and you wear whatever you want as long as you like it! You look super cute in this dress and it looks so fun!